Daniel Frost “Dan” Stone

Dec 24,1949---Jul 05,2019

It’s been a long strange trip, and nothing’s for certain. It could always go wrong. Come in when it’s raining, go on out when it’s gone. We could have us a high time living the good life. Well, I know… - Grateful Dead

 Daniel Frost “Dan” Stone passed away on July 5, 2019, at the age of 69 in Santa Fe, New Mexico from complications due to a long illness. He will be remembered for the courageous fight he wielded for over 5 years.

Dan was born on Christmas Eve, 1949, in Cincinnati, Ohio, the 2nd child of Donald Vitalis Stone, a World War II Marine veteran, who began in heavy equipment sales after leaving the service. His mother was Mary Ellen Sone, who, along with her husband and some of the family, owned and operated the regionally celebrated Stone’s Restaurant, “Under the viaduct and down by the vinegar works.”

Dan attended Merrill Junior High and Roosevelt High School in Des Moines, Iowa (where he played golf and swam), and earned his college degree in Geology from Central Michigan University in 1984. After graduation, Dan worked several independent occupations before joining the Los Alamos National Laboratory as a data manager for over 25 years and from which he retired.

Dan will always be known for his sly wit, his unique and snide smile, his altruistic caring and patience with others, and his genuine love and full enjoyment of life. The mettle and optimism displayed in his last years battling his illnesses are clearly indicative of the demeanor and presence that made him so respected and loved by others who came into his world. A Baby Boomer with a strong Protestant ethic and reveler of the 60’s, Dan played equally well the part of “Dead Head” and caring father, devoted husband, and friend throughout his life. The Grateful Dead and their work will always be part of the passion that ran through Dan’s life and brings back memories and stories of those with whom he shared that joy.

Dan’s fondness for animals Is also well-remembered by friends and family alike, as are his adventures throughout the world with his lifelong best friend, Bill Rompf, who grew up with Dan in Des Moines, and who maintained strong bonds with him to the end. Dan lived his life in the spirit of Jerry Garcia and The Dead: There is a road, no simple highway, between the dawn and the dark of night. And if you go no one may follow, that path is for your steps alone. (Grateful Dead, Ripple). He loved to walk his dogs, travel and visit archeological sites worldwide, eat spicy Latin foods, build trails, ride ATV’s, exchange views on life with both friends and strangers, and play golf.

Dan is survived by his wife Olga Stolnykova Stone from Kharkiv, Ukraine, whom he married in 2002, and his stepdaughter, Renata Mustafina, 27, who graduated from Pace University in New York, New York, in 2014. Dan is also survived by his older brother, Steven James Stone of Clearlake, Iowa; and cousins David Frost of Denver, Colorado; Suzanne of Wakefield, Illinois; and Randall Stone of Marshalltown, Iowa.

 To Dan with love from all – “Fare you well, my honey. Fare you well, my only true one. All the birds that were singing have flown except you. Alone.” Grateful De

Services will be held on Saturday, July 13, at the Riverside Funeral Home in Santa Fe. A Visitation will began at 12:00pm, the Memorial Service will began at 1:00PM. All of Dan’s past and present friends, relatives, cohorts, and acquaintances are welcome to pay their respects and share their anecdotes and memories of Dan on this website.

 

Arrangements entrusted to:

Riverside Funeral Home of Santa Fe

3232 Cerrillos Rd

(505) 395-9150

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Condolences

Connie Scott Jul 12 ,2019

friend ,Edmond ,Oklahoma

Dan was one of the funniest people I knew. I always had tears in my eyes from laughing with him. He was a kind person, easy going, and loved life. He was a good friend and loved my sons, William and Chris. I will miss him and always think of him with a smile.

Karen,Robert and Melissa Cardwell Jul 12 ,2019

Daughter works with Olga ,Socorro ,New Mexico

We send our condolences to Olga and the rest of the family.We are so sorry for your loss.May God watch over all of you.

Bill Rompf Jul 15 ,2019

Friend ,Lakewood Ranch ,Florida

"This is what I read at Dan's funeral. I don't have much more to add except I will miss him greatly. I did a pictorial and music video which we will ask the funeral home to post. If that is impossible, we will post a link later.” Bill Rompf DAN STONE FARE-THEE-WELL MY FRIEND Dan Stone was my best friend. It was a run of over 60 years. We were lifelong friends that grew up just a block from one another in Des Moines. My brother and I cut through our neighbor’s yard to Dan's street where we would walk by Polly’s House (his mom) on the way to the Waveland Tennis Courts. Lots of parties and loud music were held there in the basement, and I’ll always remember Dan sleeping with four fans blowing on him: two from each side. I first met Dan at Merrill Junior High. Of course, this was a time when our hormones started to kick in so we discovered girls. I guess we were pretty advanced for that time - nothing like it is today - but we were totally into girls. We'd fanaticize and talk about them constantly and couldn’t wait for the weekend when we would hope someone would have a party or we would walk over to a girl's house. It was all very exciting. We'd skate and hold hands in the winter months, go to movies and make out in the back rows, go to parties, meet at friend’s homes … anything to keep the fires burning. In Des Moines, we would also “Scoop the Loop,” sneak into bars and “borrow” our parents’ cars to travel south to Kansas to secure the prized Coors beer. Ask me later about the time Dan and I took my Dad’s car in a snowstorm. When we got to HS age and had our own cars, things really got wild. We’d rent houses during vacation breaks to have limitless parties (Ask me later about the “switch party”). We were mainly drinkers and then got into other things in the late 60’s. I went away to a prep school so I couldn’t wait to get home to resume the party with Dan and our group of misfit friends during Xmas and Spring and Summer break. It was always fun. Those were the most exciting times of our adolescent lives. Dan’s dad’s restaurant – Stone’s Restaurant – was nationally famous and was also a place we frequented and partied above it well into the night and then sneaking down to sample the great foods it held. Des Moines was a great place to live. It was safe, the schools were good, people were honest, and friendly, and fair. We both believed that growing up in Des Moines was one of the best things we had to be thankful for. We pretty much went our separate ways when it was time for college although our lives in ’68 were clouded by the war in Viet Nam and the resulting questioning and rising up that occurred because of it. Some of our friends went into the service and fought for our country, but most went on to college or tried to find a way to stay out. Dan had a very unique approach to beating the draft, which he did, and then went to Manketo State in Minnesota. I went to Stanford, but Dan and I still saw one another at Xmas, Spring, and summer vacations. After Dan left Manketo, he came and lived with me for a while in California, where we protested the war, threw rocks at the San Jose storm troopers that protected the Stanford campus, and pretty much embodied the “Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll” era in which we found ourselves: long hair, bell bottoms, unquestioned morals, freedom, and analyzing our lives and the world for the first time a generation had ever done so. Of course, we also frequented heavily both The Fillmore and Winterland and anywhere we could be a part of the new rock and roll and psychedelic music scene that was going on. In one place or another from SF to Palo Alto to Altamonte, we hypnotically followed this new revolution and all it embodied. We were the first to see many of the greatest rock bands of all time as they made their way onto the scene: The Jefferson Airplane, Hendrix, Quicksilver, Traffic, Steve Miller, The Stones, The Beatles, Fish, Taj Mahal, Clapton – all of them – and, of course, the Grateful Dead. The Dead quickly became our favorite band and we their groupies and loyal followers. Among other things, we brought the Dead’s music back to Des Moines and turned all of our friends onto to them as well. That's why there are so many Dead Heads in Des Moines, or as we called it by then, Death Moines. There is absolutely no bigger fan or follower or one called a Dead Head than Dan Stone. He literally has thousands of Dead show billets pasted from floor to ceiling on all the walls in his bathroom and bedroom; along with all the Dead paraphernalia and cd’s and albums. It is literally a Dead Show Museum. This time was an incredible and unique period in human existence that will be remembered as changing so much in the world. I traveled to South America after grad school to play some tennis and ended up in Cali, Colombia where we were told the most beautiful girls in all of South America were from. Finding this to be true - and much more - I, of course, called Dan and a whole host of our derelict friends immediately came south. It was amazing and the fun continued. Were we ever going to grow up? The Davis Cup came to Colombia and I was chosen to direct the event. To get more friends down and everyone involved in the festivities, I appointed Dan and our group as match linesman. Of course this was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done in my life. When our great friend Chuck Irvine called a ball out that was 6 inches to give Colombia a win and upset over highly ranked Mexico, Dan had to hire a car and drive him to another city as both the Colombians and the Mexicans went crazy and wanted him dead. Dan and I traveled throughout South America together and experienced all it offered. We were both very much interested in the history of the Incas and visited scores of ruins, lived with primitive tribes, sampled their wares (like the infamous “yahee” root). My background was primitive psychology and anthropology and Dan had studied geology and some history. We bought artifacts and art and interesting objects wherever we went. This was the beginning of our love to travel and to learn about the native dwellers who had first inhabited the lands we visited. After college when we both began working. Dan was out in the Northwest and I was in OKC and we would get together to see one another often and plan our next adventures. In ‘73, Dan and I went for three weeks and traveled to Mexico in the Yucatan, Guatemala, and San Salvador. It was a great trip. The ruins were primitive, unguarded, wide open, and just being developed for tourists: Tulum, Palenque, San Cristobal, Uchmal, Chichinitza, Coba and many others. We were part of the earthquake that killed 10’s of thousands in Guatemala City, we barely escaped to the mountains in a truck with gypsy women who were selling strawberries; we beat the quake, but got sick as hell on the berries (and the women). And the years went by. When I moved to the country in OKC, we got into ATV’s and spent years digging trails to ride there and later in Beaumont. Our times in Little Sahara – a prehistoric riverbed of pure white powder sand in Oklahoma - will always be unforgettable. We rode all over the US. We visited national parks and ruins, and prehistoric sites. I came to Santa Fe many times and he to OKC, Kansas City, Mystic, Newport as my work moved. We went to Jamaica several times. Dan became Godfather to my two sons and when he married Olga, my boys and her Renata gave him a family that he was forever bragging on and cherished. He had a fatherly, uncle way about him that always made the kids feel important and wanted. When I had my daughter by a second marriage, Dan was forever asking about her and her tennis and school and comparing her to his Renata and how well she had done. In 2013, when Dan first became ill, and then deathly so, I came to Albuquerque to be with him and Olga. Olga was incredibly devoted during that time and then for the next 6 years. I will never forget that. It took incredible patience and courage. I don’t know how she held up. Too many times when the doctors had given up on Dan, she held firm and backed them down. She kept notes, studied, and became very knowledgeable so that the system could not better her or Dan. She was feared by the hospital staff and his doctors and they bowed to her bidding. Olga, you gave him those extra six years - many of which were great ones – and that I was able to share with him as we continued our adventures. Thank you so much. Dan was an interesting and unique human being. He was one of a kind. He was intelligent and knowledgeable. He was caring, and fair, and good and fun. He loved people and loved talking to anyone about anything. He always wanted to learn new things and travel and experience new places and cultures. He was always busy and building or tinkering or doing something. He re-built his yard at least five times. He always had a house project. He loved his dogs and cats and his time with them. He was – as they say – a good person and he was for many a great friend. These quotes from Grateful Dead lyrics describe Dan and who he was: His overriding life belief: “Love will see you through” His patience and optimism: “Hang it up and see what tomorrow brings” His energy and confidence: “Just keep on truckin’” His love of life: “Once in a while you get shown the light; in the strangest places if you look at it right” His unbounded independence: “Sometimes we live no particular way but on our own” His resilience and faith: “Nothin’ left to do but smile, smile, smile” His curiosity for adventure: “You just got to poke around” I cried like a baby over his bed in 2013. I begged him to keep fighting and not give up. He was unconscious, but later said to me that he heard my pleadings. When I traveled back home after that trip not knowing whether I would ever see him again I wrote him the following: 8/31/13 Dear Dan: This last week has unfortunately reminded me (and Mary and MaryAnn, and Coco) of just how vulnerable life is and we all are. First and foremost, please know how much I love you and how important you are to me and have been for our over 50-year friendship. We have traveled both physically and spiritually to new and exciting frontiers together. We have experienced many highs and just a few lows. You are my very best and life long friend in this one life that I have had. Because we are both assholes and old ones to boot, on occasion, we have had a few cross times with one another. We get impatient and cranky and tired. But nothing will ever diminish our lifelong friendship and our true love for one another. We share a common history and boyhood past and Iowa roots, a unique culture, generational experiences never to be repeated. We believe in the same things. We think the same thoughts. We feel as one. And no one in this life better understands one another as we do each other. I am so happy to write this note to you so that you will have it for the next 25 years while we continue our friendship and adventures. No one has shared, experienced or lived what we have together. You are so much more than a brother or wife or parent or child. These are different. You are a friend – the friend – for my life. And in so many ways no one will ever mean more to me. Friendships like ours are a unique and different bond. So, recover. Re-coup. Re-group and get ready again to keep this party going. We are in our last chapter. Let’s make it the best chapter of all, my friend. We got together three or four times more and had one more great trip around New Mexico and Colorado in summer ‘17. But in the last year just when I thought he was going to beat it again, he fell back. It was not a way to live. It was not living. It was not Dan. He is in a better place now. Lying back, high and happy, and listening to the Dead with that shit- eating grin on his face. Finally, at peace. Never to be forgotten by this friend…or by all of us who knew him. Never.

Stece Stone Jul 15 ,2019

Brother ,Clearlake ,Iowa

The Dash the poem by Linda Ellis I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on the tombstone from the beginning… to the end. He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke of the following date with tears, but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years. For that dash represents all the time they spent alive on earth and now only those who loved them know what that little line is worth. For it matters not, how much we own, the cars… the house… the cash. What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash. So think about this long and hard; are there things you’d like to change? For you never know how much time is left that still can be rearranged. To be less quick to anger and show appreciation more and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before. If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile… remembering that this special dash might only last a little while. So when your eulogy is being read, with your life’s actions to rehash, would you be proud of the things they say about how you lived your dash?